As a new mom, I find myself second guessing a lot of things. Mostly I second guess myself. Should I have been worried when my 8wk old was a little congested? Should I be monitoring his poo more closely ala Celine Dion? Am I doing damage to his psyche because I'm not reading Shakespeare to him at bedtime?
It is even harder to be a new mom when you start talking to other moms. There is an unwritten rule of competition among moms. If your baby is sleeping through the night at 8wks, her baby slept through the night at 6wks. If yours smiled at 6wks, hers did at a month. The competitive mom in me pours over the books to see if the boy is more advanced than other 9week olds. What?
Your insecurities deepen when you find out that other moms are doing all sorts of developmental things with their child all day long. Am I really a bad mom because the boy sits in the swing so that I can try to do a load of laundry? Do I need to bring my 9 week old son to a museum to jump start his creative mind? Is my son really going to be pissed that I didn't keep a pregnancy journal?
New motherhood is full of mental pitfalls. There is a quiet fear in the back of my mind that I am potentially messing up my child. Insecurities are fed from all angles; celebrity moms, parenting websites and magazines, and of course that perfect mom in your playgroup.
My theory is that all new moms are the same deep down. Nobody is perfect, everybody has insecurities. I have to believe that, because I can' t possibly be the only mom who has cried because the boy has been crying for an hour. I'm sure we were a picture for hubby when he
came home to find both me and the boy crying in the rocker.
As moms we need to quit with the one upping, and the criticizing. We're all doing the best we can do right? It's hard to balance everything we have to do in a day, and a little time in the swing can be the one thing that helps us do it. I may not be a perfect mom, but if my boy is happy, isn't that the important thing?
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1 comment:
i feel the same way. when my son was born everyone was so quick to criticize and i felt like i was doing eveything wrong. i am learning by trial and error and i finally feel comfortable with that.
i came across your blog by accident because my blog is called thedevilwearsdiapers.blgospot.com. i started it so family and friends can look at pictures and videos of my son without me having to send them around by e-mail. anyhow, i like your blog.
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