The Little Barracuda

If you are squeemish about the gory details of breastfeeding, stop reading now. If you are one of the blessed moms who breastfed for a year, I salute you. For me, the road to/from the boob was not pretty.

It's true that breast is best when it comes to feeding your newborn. I won't attempt to argue that, there are too many studies that prove it so don't get your undies in a bundle. Simply put though, some women just aren't cut out for it.

I was always a little weirded out by the concept of breastfeeding, I must admit. But because I wanted to do what was best for my little one (the barracuda), I got comfortable and almost excited about it. Some of my best friends had done it and found the whole experience rewarding. Of course they were the same friends that swear pregnancy was better than Prozac.

So after the little miracle made his way into the world and I had enough painkillers to kill a small horse they brought EJ into my room for his very first feeding. Out came the boob and we fumbled our way through, well, nothing. Poor little guy was too new to latch. Unfortunately I was still fumbling when the urge to throw up hit me. Imagine a drugged up new mom attempting to breast feed on one side, and throwing up into a bedpan on the other side. Not exactly what I had envisioned breast feeding to be.

The next morning we started to figure it out. In the words of my wise post partum nurse, EJ was a "little barracuda" when it came to feeding. Those of you who have breast fed can relate to the nickname I'm sure. There really is nothing quite like that initial latch. Equal parts eye watering and toe curling pain. The pain of that was one thing, losing the latch and going through it all over again (multiple times) was quite another.

He finally figured it out, and all became right with the world. Let's face it, I was too exhausted from all night feedings to argue. About a week and a half after being welcoming the little one into the world I woke up in the middle of the night with my left boob as hard as a rock. It was nearly more painful than anything I'd ever experienced. Along with a fever of 102degrees, I was pretty sure it was mastitis. A trip to my local urgent care confirmed it and it was on with the antibiotics.

None of this was doing any good for hubby and me. We vacillated between loving kindness and wanting to kill each other. Although he developed sympathy for me when he let the barracuda suck on his pinky and got to experience the power suck first hand.

There I was; feverish, exhausted and still trying to feed the barracuda, when my mom called from Nevada. Before you knew it I was crying my eyes out and still trying to convince her that everything was okay. Then came the very stern phone call from my brother. My sister-in-law was coming over to take care of the boy during the night so we could sleep, and my brother booked a flight for my mom to come home and stay with us for a few days.

I started pumping in between feedings so that mom could feed the little bugger and we could get some sleep. After a few days I was feeling better and we actually left the house for dinner while mom watched the boy. Mom left for home at 4:30 on a Wednesday, and by 10pm my fever was back and I was miserable again. Off to the ER where hubby and I sat untill 3am to find out that I had mastitis in both breasts because the antibiotics that I had taken didn't work for me. So, it was onto the new antibiotics along with percocet for the pain. At least the percocet let me sleep!

At this point we had been supplementing with a little formula because he was eating more than I was producing. We decided that with all of the difficulties and mastitis issues maybe switching to formula wasn't a bad idea. I was also worried about post partum depression. With a history of depression myself, and depression running in my family, it was a very real fear for me.

So, for my boob health and mental health we switched to formula. After weaning, and some leaking, "the girls" are back to normal. A little deflated but normal, and now the barracuda takes out his sucking agression on artificial nipples. Healthy mommy and healthy baby, all is right with the world.