Pregnancy. Oh the joys!

It seems so hard to remember the "good old days". You know what I'm talking about. The days before "it" happened. Back in the day when you could eat or drink whatever you wanted and the only concerns were weight gain or a hangover. Well, those days are long gone. Put away the booze and the smokes, it's time to overdose on pregnancy do's and don'ts.

Now the days of being pregnant are becoming a faint memory. With an overtired 6week old in his bouncy chair right next to me fighting off sleep I'm trying to remember the early days of his existence in my belly. You know, when hubby and I were the only ones who knew we were preggers and everyone else just thought I was getting fat.

There are many women who will go on and on about how being pregnant was the most wonderfully fulfilling time in their lives. Now I'm not sure if their lying or if they're just blocking out the miserable parts but I will tell you that I was not one of them. Don't get me wrong, I loved the majority of my pregnancy. My husband, however, will argue that into the ground if you ask him. I guess he thinks I complained a lot?

I thought I was completely prepared for being pregnant. After all, it entails getting fat and eating whatever I wanted right? Wrong. The minute we found out I was pregnant with EJ I began obsessing over the right and wrong ways to go about being preggo. The world of books, blogs, and magazines doesn't really help stave off the obsession it only feeds into it.

Really, it's amazing that pregnant women can consume anything other than organic produce and water. I'm oversimplifying of course, but who knew that my beloved salami sandwich was the enemy (according to the books anyway)? The books made me wonder, do French women really give up their brie? If they can go on with life amongst unpasteurized soft cheeses, why do I have to give them up? Thanks to the American pastime of cultivating fear in pregnant women, I cut out anything and everything that was a "no-no" on the lists. Thankfully I also developed a craving for fruit instead of McDonalds.

So pregnancy gets to a point where you aren't able to see your feet much less tie your own shoes. It was at this point when I started wishing that wine wasn't on the no-no list. Really, pregnant women would be much more relaxed if a glass of wine was socially acceptable. I've never gotten more dirty looks in a bar than when I was out with my girlfriends drinking a non-alcoholic beer. Incidentally, my favorite preggo photo is me at 6mos in a bikini top and pareo with a non-alcoholic beer in my hand.

Another crappy thing is that everyone tells you "sleep now, because you won't get any as soon as that baby is born". Please. There is no sleeping when you are so big that you have to lasso your undies just to get them on, and the only shoes you can wear are flip flops. The mere task of flipping over becomes a huge process. Sit up, shift over, readjust the body pillow, move the dogs, and lay back down. Oops, add in a trip to the bathroom because that happens every hour or two.

There are so many rules and regulations that I was thankful when we finally had that last appointment and found out we were going to be induced. I had naughty bad food, and a glass of red wine. I slept like a baby. Take that all of you rules girls!

All in all, pregnancy is what it is. You have to do what is best for you. I followed all of the major rules within reason, but didn't beat myself up if I broke one or two. We were blessed with a happy healthy son, regardless of the rules that I followed or broke. Moral of the story is, do what you need to do to stay healthy and happy. After all, if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.